Thursday, April 17, 2014

You are not special: The entitlement of parents.

Did any of you see this last month??

To The Person Who Left My Sister This Unbelievably Judgmental Letter

I am probably going to get a lot of flak for this, but I think that the person who wrote this article is more offensive and judgmental than the person who left the letter in question.

Somehow our society has gotten to the point where we think that we all, either as individuals or as a family unit, are more important than the collective society.  That is a serious problem.

The worst offenders are, I hate to say it, parents.  We think that once we become parents, we all of a sudden become superior to those who choose not to have kids.  We should be able to park closer, board airplanes first, go to the front of the line, whatever it takes.  Because we have kids and it makes us more important than everyone else.  Right?

Umm.  No.

I have a child, but that does not make my needs more important than the needs of the person next to me who does not have kids.  And guess what?  I don't expect that person to understand, or quite frankly, give a rat's ass, about what I am going through as a parent.

Is it nice if they do?  Sure!  It is always awesome to meet kind and helpful people, but the duty of the person next to me is NOT to worry about MY kids.

Once you have kids, the burden is on YOU and you alone.  You chose to have them, sweetheart.  It is not the job of the rest of society to understand and accommodate you and your child.  One of the many sacrifices that you make when you become a parent is that you can't do certain things.  Because guess what?  There are places where kids just aren't welcome.  And that is OKAY.

Since having a child, have traded bars for Chuck-e-Cheese because when a kid runs around at Chuck-e-Cheese, it is appropriate.  When 2 year olds run around bars, it is not appropriate or appreciated by other patrons.  We have traded fine dining for take out because no one at a nice restaurant is interested in hearing my 2 year old telling them that she just farted.

Vacations are the same way.  I ski and I agree that an expensive ski resort is not a place for babies.  Sorry.  It just isn't.  Kids who are of skiing age?  Sure!  Babies though?  Nope.  Despite the fact that you think your offspring is the best thing since sliced bread, screaming babies (and they ALL scream sometimes) just don't make for a nice vacation.

And a ski resort that is full of brain surgeons (as the author so subtly points out) is certainly not a place for kids.  I mean, how can your brother-in-law possibly save lives if he is up all night with a screaming baby?

Scenes from our ski vacation (sans Moose) this year.  What part makes 
you realize it is not a place for kids?  The open fire pit or the Maserati parked outside?

I can't get over the entitlement that this author has.  She truly things, in her warped mind, that everyone should bend over backwards because her oh-so-nice ex-lawyer Sister and amazingly brilliant brain surgeon Brother-in-law CHOSE to have a kid.  Oh and her sister heroically chose to stay home and therefore is entitled to get out of the house, even if it is as the expense of everyone else.  No.  Not okay.

And as a side note, this author clearly has many more entitlement issues just based on the fact that she felt the need to mention the education level of her sister and brother-in-law.  As if their jobs make them more entitled or important than anyone else.  Nauseating.

What makes you think that your need for a vacation trumps the need of the person in the room next to you?  Oh yeah, it is because you think you are more important because you have a kid.  Guess what, sweetie?  No one else at that ski resort gives a crap about your kid.

YOU made the choice to have kids and if you cannot or will not leave them home with family while you are on an adults vacation, you need to stay home.  Or chose a kid friendly vacation.  Sorry, sister, that is just part of having kids.  Sacrifice.

Do I think that people should get mad every time a kid screams?  Hell no.  If that was the case, people would hate me everywhere I go.  And I wouldn't blame them.  Sometimes, in the midst of a toddler tantrum, I hate myself too.

I do, however, feel that it is my job to make sure that these things only happy in places that are appropriate for kids to be in the first place.  And those places do NOT include fancy ski resorts or nice restaurants.

I can only hope that their child (whose fault it is NOT that she was screaming or that she was born to entitled pricks) grows up to be more considerate of others.