Thursday, January 9, 2014

Letting Go Mini-Van Style

I am getting a minivan.

Insert several F-bombs here as I slowly watch my self-esteem plummet.

Let me start my saying that I rarely say "never," but I have always said NEVER to a stupid mini-van.  Not just for the obvious reasons, but because riding in them makes me car sick because they sit so damn low, so owning one would resign me to permanent chauffeur status, even with Josh in the car.

But, alas, I am getting one.

Let me be clear: I am not getting one anytime soon, but I am trying to come to terms with the fact that it is going to happen.  Sort of like pooping on the table, peeing on yourself during working out, boobs sagging, and stretch marks, mini-vans are one of the inevitable facts of motherhood.

Insert a few more f-bombs.

Even this guy knows it.

Back in October 2010, we bought a brand spankin' new Maroon Honda Pilot.  It is an awesome car.  We bought it with the intention of starting and growing our family in it.  With that in mind, we upgraded to the built in DVD player with a Bose sound system and headphones.  That's how we roll.  Unfortunately Moose does not use the headphones, but having the DVD player has proven to be priceless on long car trips.

Here is the thing though.  We travel a lot.  Our car is 3 years old and has 67,000 miles on it.  Crazy, right?  That is what happens when you live far away from family.  We travel all of the time and our shortest trip is 5.5 hours.

When we pack the Pilot, especially for the holidays or to spend a few weeks with family in the summer, it is like stuffing a sausage.  We end up packing the backseat to the point where poor Scooter only has about 2 square feet to rest his weary body.  When we open the trunk, we have to stand underneath the hatch with our hands out to catch falling luggage.

I know, I know, you are probably thinking, pack less!  And you are halfway right.  I could probably do a little bit of a better job cutting down on Moose's wardrobe.  BUT, even if I did that, it only eliminates one little...okay, one giant...bag.  We still have the suitcases, the toys, the pack 'n play, the BOB stroller, the DVDs, books, us, the dog, a giant cooler, etc, etc, etc.  It just can't fit.

And as we think of adding child #2 to the equation, there is no way in hell that we are going to fit into our Pilot.  In comes the damn mini-van.

More f-bombs.

I know, I know, all of you have mini vans and you love them.  You wear your soccer Mom badge and Mom jeans proudly.  You rock out in style every single day in the preschool pick up line.  You glow every time that you hit your little button to open all of the doors because apparently opening doors is too much for Moms.  I get it.  It's the path that my life is taking.

Admit it though: Even though you are walking billboard for mini-vans now, you had to come to terms with it at one point.  You might love it now, but there was one point, before you had your first (or second) kid, where you declared, "I will NEVER drive a mini-van."

And it makes sense.  It is a hard one to swallow.  It is like kissing the last part of the "old me" goodbye.  Two years and 10 months ago, I gave up by body being mine, first through pregnancy and then through having a barnacle toddler.  I kissed my flat non stretch-marked stomach and nice boobs goodbye.  I sent my free time on a way one trip.  I gave up not peeing during exercise.  I traded in my stylish clothes for yoga pants and hoodies even though I don't have time to even think about yoga, let alone do it.  I stopped listening to normal music so that we can listen to Elmo in the car.  I moved my nice furniture out of the family room to make space for colorful, loud plastic toys.  I no longer stay up, let alone out, late.  I traded in my entire life when I had a baby.

And that is okay.  I would do it again in a heartbeat.  I love being a Mom.  I just want to keep my damn car.  Is that too much to ask for?!

Apparently the answer to that is yes.

Insert more f-bombs.

As a side note, when I Googled "someecards mini van," there were some hysterical cards!  I would highly recommend doing it if you are bored sometime.  :)


  1. F Bombs away ... HELL to the NO with the minivan! Sad to see your Honda Pilot go but I totally get it. Reagan started with the ear phones about six months ago and she loves it. Brian and I both have built in DVD players in our cars and she now knows how to use the remotes, turn everything on and off. It's crazy. Give the moose some time ... she'll learn and learn quickly. Then you don't have to blow your brains out on the road as you listen to another damn Disney movie! Ugh ... {Elmo was the worst -- so glad she's out of that stage!]

    I promise not to make fun of you when you get it ... I promise to not make fun of you when you get it .. I promise, well you get the idea!!

    Much love sweet girl!! :)

    (¸¤ Lanaya | xoxo

  2. I AM IN THIS SAME BOAT!!!! We have a pilot, I love it, love it! But we also have 3 kids, three kids in car seats. We also do a ton of traveling in the car, skiing, sledding, hiking, just a lot. and we can't fit shit. So we have come to terms that we need a mini van. So it is happening this year. I always said never, never am i going to be a 26 year old mother of three with a mini van, but it is the only logical thing to so at this point.

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  4. I don't have this problem because growing up I swear my family was the only one growing up that didn't have a mini van. I thought they were so awesome when I would drive with my friends. Then I worked at a residential program for kids as a young adult and I loved driving the program van. Yes, I'm weird. Our next car is going to be a van, hopefully very soon. We have a Kia Sorento SUV right now that I adore but it's just too small for us, especially when we do add another baby.

  5. Wow! You have done well staying in your Pilot for as long as you have with 3 kids. Just the moving back and forth of the seat would get old quickly. We are going to keep our Pilot, but my husband will be driving it while I tote the kiddos in the van. Hot Mama. Hahaha. ;) I keep trying to convince him that he should drive the van around town while I drive the Pilot. No dice. Guess I can't blame him though.

  6. That is hilarious! My parents had a full out conversion van when we were kids and my friends and I LOVED it! It had a TV and VCR before any other kinds of vehicles had TVs, so it was pretty awesome. And I actually also drive a van for work now (a 14 passenger van). I guess, given all of that, I don't know why I am dreading the mini-van, but I am! When are you guys getting the van??

  7. I'm afraid of the mini-van too! But it seems like it's either that or a big SUV that I might not feel comfortable driving around. I refuse to graduate to mom jeans though ;-)

  8. We gave in and got one after baby number 4--all four of our kids are still in car seats so we didn't really have the choice. I refuse to say that 'v' word on my blog though. Refuse.



Thanks so much for stopping by! I would love to hear from you, so please take a minute to leave me any comments, suggestions, funny stories, or advice about this journey called Mommyhood.

Becky :)