Tuesday, July 16, 2013

Pregnancy Sucks

Being pregnant sucks.  That sentence will strike you one of two ways.  The first is that you will think, "what?  This woman is crazy and clearly does not love her child."  The second is that you will think, "hell yeah, it sucks and thank God someone said it!  I love my baby more than life itself, but the process of growing him/her sucks."

I was never prepared for a rough pregnancy.  When we first decided to get pregnant, I had this blissful image of pregnancy.  I would sit, in my glowing state, on our back deck, eating organic, locally sourced food (hipster alert), while gently caressing my basketball sized belly.  I had every intention of continuing to work out with my personal trainer so that I could quickly regain my pre-baby body after giving birth (funny, right?  More on that later).  I would giggle with delight every time my baby's teeny tiny feet gently kicked my growing, yet still adorable stomach.  It would be an experience that I would always cherish.

Ha.  Pretty much none of that delusion image came true.  Working out ended for me at about 9 weeks of pregnancy because my "morning" sickness was made worse by any sort of physical activity (read: waking up in the morning).  Despite the promises of doctors, mothers, friends, and family, and the internet, the sickness never went away.  The nausea and vomiting was replaced by debilitating migranes, which were eventually joined by carpal tunnel syndrome, fluid retention, heartburn, and blood pressure problems that required a brief hospitalization (on Thanksgiving).  To be fair, part of my image did come true: I did eat dinner and I did sit on our deck.  Amazing.

My pregnancy from hell would have been bad no matter what, but it was made worse by the fact that it completely blindsided me.  No one had told me that pregnancy could truly be the worst, most painful time of my life.  No one prepared me for the possibility that I could be sick every single day.  Every. Single. Freakin'. Day.  No one told me that pregnancy can be taxing on your relationship with your husband.  Yup, I said it.  It can be an incredibly trying time in a relationship, even after years of marriage.  Imagine that you work all day, come home from work and make a delicious and healthy dinner for your wife only to have her puke the second you bring it into the room.  Imagine that you try to be sweet and upbeat, but your wife is so sick that she just lays on the floor and cries.  For 9 months.  It is really stinkin' hard.  For EVERYONE involved.  But, guess what?  No one tells you that!

I distinctly remember going to my OB when I was around 12 weeks pregnant and breaking down, telling her, "I am going to be the worst mother ever.  I HATE being pregnant.  Everyone else loves it, but I hate every second."  She smiled and told me that most people hate it, but people are afraid to say it out loud.

Why?  Why are we afraid to speak the truth?  It is OKAY to hate pregnancy.  I love my daughter with all of my heart, but guess what, the process of growing her sucked.

So, this is to you.  You, the girl who spends all day with her head over the toilet.  You, who gained 100 pounds with your first child.  You, whose back hurts so bad that you can't sleep.  You, who can only walk barefoot because your feet are too fat to wear shoes.  It is okay to hate the process of growing your baby.  I did.  At the end of the day though, it will, hands down, be the best thing you ever do.
9 days before giving birth - my face is SO swollen!

24 comments:

  1. First of all, you are my hero. I started crying when I saw that someone else described being pregnant EXACTLY the way I feel. NO ONE TOLD US! I am only 7 weeks along and I've already told my husband that I don't think I'll do this again. No one said, "Morning sickness is just the name..it really happens 24/7." I am sick every single day..I'm tired every single day! I apologized to my husband for not acting or looking like a girl lately because I have no interest to put on anything but t-shirts and yoga pants. We don't "risk" going out for supper because God forbid we sit beside someone who ordered a food that doesn't freaking smell right or even look okay to me... So in conclusion I say God bless you for speaking the truth and I'm feeling it it too sister!

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  2. hat a sweet comment! Congrats on your pregnancy. I can't tell you how happy I am that someone my experience can help someone else. When I was going through it, I desperately wished that someone had told how awful it could be. I felt blindsided by the entire thing. I also felt a little cheated because I had the expectation that pregnancy would be wonderful, but I was so sick that I truly couldn't enjoy it. I still say what you are saying that I am not sure I can have another child. I want another one, but just wish that there was another way to get him/her into the world (aka I wish my husband could be the pregnant one)!

    I am so sorry that you are having a terrible experience and I really hope that it gets better for you. The only encouraging thing that I can say is that it is totally worth it. I promise. People tell you that you will forget how horrible the pregnancy was, but that is bulls*^%. You will never forget it as long as you live. Again though, it is worth it.

    Take care and my fingers are crossed that you will feel better soon!

    And one more thing...yoga pants and tee shirts are perfectly acceptable clothing options. It is the only time in your life you can get away with wearing it out on public every day. Rock it!

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  3. I can only say thank you. I agree! and I can relate. :)

    stopping in from PYHO

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    1. Thanks for stopping by and commenting! It is nice to know that other people can relate! :)

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  4. I was so uncomfortable. I really didn't enjoy it, either!

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    1. Thanks for the comment! It is nice to know I am not alone. While I was going through it, I felt like I was the only one who didn't enjoy it!

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  5. I hope that your next pregnancy doesn't suck. I know it's all worth while, but that isn't what you want to hear on the really sucky days. I was fortunate enough to have an easy pregnancy and I loved it (95% of the time) so that is what I hope for you...if there is a next time!

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    1. Thank you so much! It is awesome that you had a good pregnancy! I am so scared to try again, but I know that we will someday and I pray that it is better this time. It is totally worth it, but the process was AWFUL.

      Thanks for stopping by. :)

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  6. I was one of those - I enjoyed my pregnancy. Mostly because it was so hard for me to become (and stay) pregnant.
    I'm sure you'll do better the next time ;)

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    1. I am glad that you had a good pregnancy after your troubles with getting and staying pregnant. While I was going through my awful pregnancy, I always felt like it was just my "cross to bear," for lack of a better phrase. I had an easy time getting pregnant, so the actual pregnancy was my hard part. No one can have it all and that is how it should be.

      Thank you so much for stopping by! :)

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  7. Oh man, I agree! My girlfriends and I talk about this issue all the time. I had a hard time being pregnant both times. I like working out (hard, to the point of feeling nauesous!), teaching group fitness, having a glass of wine on the porch with my husband in the twilight hours, my favorite restaurant is a sushi place, I like going and going. I didn't have physically hard pregnancies like you, I just somewhat resented the whole process - although I felt lucky to be able to do it and have my pregnancies go so well. I know lots of women do love it, but I ceased feeling guilty about my feelings awhile ago. :)

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    1. Thanks so much for your comment and insight. I really appreciate it. I agree with you about hating being so restricted. I would crave things that I don't even normally eat, like lunchmeat. The first time my husband and I went out to dinner after our daughter was born, we got sushi. I don't think that anything has ever tasted better!

      During my pregnancy, I often asked my husband why the mother/fetus relationship is not classified as a parasite/host relationship. I am sure you can agree that that is exactly what it feels like!

      Becky :)

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  8. I wasn't a fan of being pregnant either. I just felt gross and fat. Plus I hated the morning sickness.

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    1. Amen! Whenever I see pregnant women, I think they look cute, but when I was pregnant, I just felt fat. And the "morning" sickness is miserable.

      Thanks so much for commenting! :)

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  9. This made me cry because it was EXACTLY how my pregnancy was! I'm terrified to have another baby because of it. It's good to know I'm not alone:) I always used to say that I loved the fact that I was having a baby but hated being pregnant!

    Thanks for linking this up at the Mommy Moments Link Up last week:)

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    1. Thank you so much for the really sweet comment! It always makes me so happy to feel that I am not alone, but also sad that other people went through the same thing. I keep trying to tell myself that it could be different next time, but I also don't want to get my hopes up. At least I will feel better knowing what I know now and knowing that there are other people like me out there!

      Thanks again!
      Becky :)

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  10. Your post was the most viewed at the Mommy Moments Link Up so make sure you stop by this week to see your feature:)

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    1. Yay! Thank you so much! I am really excited about this. Sorry that I just saw your comment. I did see the feature on your blog though and commented there. So exciting for me...thanks again!! :)

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  11. I know how you feel. I was hospitalized once with my first child for dehydration and twice with my second. I was so sick I would literally crawl to take care of my son when I was pregnant with my daughter. I didnt have the energy to stand up and if I did I would get extremely dizzy. I couldnt even keep water down.

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    1. Oh my goodness...that sounds awful! I am so sorry. :(

      The one thing that I was thankful for is that it was my first child, so I didn't have to worry about taking care of anyone else. I have no idea how I would do it if I was sick and had to chase my toddler. Kudos to you for doing it. You are amazing!

      Thanks so much for commenting! :)

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  12. Funny enough, I had rough pregnancies but I loved being pregnant. With my first, I was sick until I was 36 weeks, had bad asthma, and carpal tunnel syndrome. I lost weight on that pregnancy because I was so sick. Yet, I missed being pregnant once she was born. My second born brought on the worst asthma issues along with major back pain. Guess what? I still loved being pregnant most of the time and missed it after she was born. I'm a bit nutty that way. LOL! However, I can understand how going through all that would evoke the opposite response than it did with me.

    Found you via Turn It Up Tuesday! blog hop that I'm co-hosting! Thanks for linking up with us again! :)

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  13. Wow! That is amazing. I don't think I have ever heard of anyone who had such a terrible pregnancy, yet still enjoyed it. Good for you!!


    Even though it was awful, there are things that I do miss about being pregnant. I loved feeling her move around inside of my stomach. What a unique experience. Now that some time has passed, I am actually okay with the thought of trying again. I just hope that I won't be as sick this time!


    Thanks for reading and commenting and for hosting the link up. It is much appreciated! :)

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  14. Shit, this sounds just like me and I'm only at the migraine part =[

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  15. Oh no. :( I cannot tell you how sorry I am to hear this. I think of all of the pregnancy illnesses, the migraines were the worst. You can't take anything for them that actually helps, so I would just lay there and cry.


    How far along are you?? I really hope you get better soon.

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Thanks so much for stopping by! I would love to hear from you, so please take a minute to leave me any comments, suggestions, funny stories, or advice about this journey called Mommyhood.

Becky :)