Saturday, August 17, 2013

The Constant Worry

No one told me that having a baby was the end of your peace of mind.  Forever.  I guess I don't blame them though; if you told people that, they would either A) find you crazy or B) be scared off from having kids.  I am going to tell you about it though because you need to know.  Also, if you haven't been scared off my my tales of pregnancy and babies pooping in the tub, you will be fine.

It is common sense to worry about the big things.  You put up baby gates because you worry that she will fall down the steps.  You hold her hand because you worry that she will run off into the street and get hit by a car.  You feed her good foods because you worry about her not growing up to be healthy. Parenting 101, right?  What no one tells you though is that you worry about really stupid shit.

The birth of my sweet girl = the 
death of my peace of mind.

I was sitting around watching Glee one night (don't knock it 'til you try it) and there was an episode about Prom.  All of a sudden, I got this shock through my entire body and turned to Josh, in a total panic, and said, "what if no one asks Moose to prom?"  

Poor Josh was so dumbfounded that he couldn't even formulate a response other than, "she is 4 months old."  I was legitimately worried though.  I still am.  I couldn't even finish watching the episode because it was that second when I realized that the "big" worries are actually the least of my worries.  Those gates and outlet plugs, the shopping cart covers and paci wipes; those things are nothing.  Those are things that we do to convince ourselves that we have some sort of control, but they don't take care of the constant nagging worries in your head.  That prom episode was the second when I realized that there were an entire world of worries that I had not yet thought of and that I could not control.

I am not exaggerating, people.  I am not a mellow-dramatic person; in fact, I am pretty laid back, but ever since then, I have seriously been worrying that no one will ask her to prom and that she will be devastated.  Can you imagine the heartbreak of your little girl wanting to go to prom and no one asking her?  It seriously makes me tear up.

If you don't have kids yet, you probably think I am nuts and that is okay.  I would have thought the same thing, but having kids makes something in you shift and you have no control anymore.  The worry takes over.

I was talking to one of my Mom friends at the daycare when she called one day to check on her youngest girl and we started talking about how motherhood just means constant worrying.  Her oldest daughter is getting ready to go to kindergarten and she was nervous because it is an entirely new world that she has no control over.  Her little girl is beautiful, sweet, and funny, an overall great kid, but other kids can be mean.  And you have no control.

Moose has years until she goes off to Kindergarten, but I am already worried about it.  What if the other kids make fun of her?  What if she has no friends?  What if she doesn't have the right clothes or right hobbies (I used to teach Kindergarten; that sh*& already matters to those little boogers). I feel like I would die inside if one of those things happened.  The thought of her fat, excited little face getting ready to go school and then having her entire day crushed by a mean little kid just kills me.  

The worries then go to the next step.  What would I do if someone was mean to Moose?  My first response would be to go in there and let them have it, but unfortunately that is not an acceptable thing to do.  I would obviously go to the parents, but usually with mean kids come meaner parents.  What then?  

Just writing this blog has raised my blood pressure.  This isn't one of those things that you can make light of because it sucks.  This little person just takes over your entire world and consumes it with worry.  The parenting instinct in you just yearns to protect this little being, but every step that they take into the world, starting with their first one, leaves them, and you, that much more vulnerable.  

Am I the only one?  Does anyone else worry about all of these little things?


  1. I can see you now biting back another little toddler that has bit Myra....just kidding!LOL

  2. I have a teen girl, and I worry about what I cannot control, I guess because I know I can't control it. What's worse is at her age she sometimes doesn't listen to things I KNOW to be fact, and that drives me crazy (things I now she can do to avoid being hurt, like avoiding the jerk boy who sometimes makes her cry). But I remember being her age and not listening too. I just move forward and do the best I can. :)

    Your post resonates at any age. :) Thank you for linking up to Super Sunday Sync.

  3. Haha, right?! :) Obviously I don't want someone to bite Moose, but I wouldn't be mad or upset because the kids aren't old enough to know better. I just worry about when she is older because kids can be so intentionally mean.

    Good advice on doing the best you can, Rosey. Thanks so much for the comment. I would imagine that having a teenager is worry beyond what I can even comprehend now. You prepare your kids the best that you can and just hope that they listen to your advice, but some hurt and a few bad decisions are par for the course. Being a parent sure is scary!

  4. Oh yes, the worrying begins from the moment you find out you are pregnant....and worries in advance, too!

  5. Krystyn, thanks for stopping by! You are exactly right about the worry. The last moment of peace you have is the second the pregnancy tests shows a positive. :)

  6. That's motherhood isn't? We will always worry about things...yes, even the most silliest thing ever that we never even think about it before. I was worried I would drop my son in the hospital lol.

  7. Oh yes, so very much to worry about if we let our imaginations get the best of us. For now, I try to only worry about what we're dealing with in the moment.

  8. I am trying to do the same thing. Sometimes it is so hard though, especially when something (like a TV show) triggers worrisome thoughts. Being a mom is tough!

    Thanks for reading and commenting! :)

  9. Lol! Now that you say that, I did have a brief period where I was worried about dropping my daughter. I think it was right after I realized how often I drop my cell phone. :) I try to avoid worrying about the big things, but the problem is that, when you are a mom, they are all big things!

    Thanks so much for reading and commenting!

  10. All. The. Time. Thanks for letting me know that I'm not the only one. (found you through the mommymonday link up!)

  11. oh YES. You are not the only one at all. I have six kids,and I'll tell you straight: it doesn't get better!

    Do you get it in the car?

    also, Mom to Mom... be on the look out for anxiety/depression....

    Found you from the life of faith hop. Nice to meet you!

  12. I think it comes with the territory of being a mama. And it feels like it gets easier when they grow up, but then we just worry about other, bigger things. If only we could put them in bubblewrap till we're grey and old :-)

  13. Looks like I am just in for a life of worry. Guess that is what happens to us Moms! Thanks so much for reading and commenting. :)

  14. Glad you and I aren't alone in our worrying! it is crazy though. I worry about things that I never knew needing worrying about. :)

    Thanks so much for reading and commenting!


Thanks so much for stopping by! I would love to hear from you, so please take a minute to leave me any comments, suggestions, funny stories, or advice about this journey called Mommyhood.

Becky :)