I wish I was kidding about this, but I am as serious as, well, those above-mentioned commercials. The hormones that overtake your body during pregnancy turn you into a fat, blubbering, sobbing mess of a human being. I guess that is to be expected though, right? The thing that shocked the hell out of me is that IT DOESN'T GO AWAY. You will just keep crying all of the time.
I have this vivid memory of one night when I was pregnant and I was laying on the floor (because laying on the hardwood floor relieves backaches) watching TV with my husband. He was surfing the channels for something to watch when he stumbled upon the end of Home Alone. It was the very end, right at the moment when Kevin's mom finally gets home and opens up her arms for him. He hesitates briefly and then runs into his mom's arms. I started bawling. Literally. Sobbing. My husband was like, "wtf, Beck" to which I could only respond, "Macauley Culkin is just so convincing."
I am not going to lie, it was a low point for me. Home Alone, seriously? It wasn't even like I had been watching the movie for hours. I saw the last two minutes. Of Home Alone.
I wish it ended there, but it didn't. The evil pregnancy hormones seem to stay with you forever. It is nature's way of reminding you that, above all else, you are a mother. For instance, I didn't cry when I got engaged. It wasn't sad. Post-pregnant Becky though? She cries when people on TV get engaged.
I am not ashamed to admit that I love the Twilight series of books. The good thing about enduring the miracle (gag) of pushing a baby out of your who-ha in front of a roomful of people is that you really have no shame left.
Even though the Twilight movies are God-awful, I find myself sitting at the theater on opening weekend every year. It is a fun tradition. My girlfriend and I went to see the final movie last November and I cried 3 times. 3 times during a teenage Vampire love drama starring K-Stew. The kicker though? I cried during the credits. The freakin' credits. Who the hell does that? Luckily, my friend N is an avid crier herself, so she didn't mind at all. Embarrassing displays of inappropriate emotion love company, right?
*As a side note, that last paragraph made me realize that I do have a little bit of shame left. *
If you have not yet had kids, enjoy having control of your emotions (and bladder, but that is a story for another day) because it won't last for long. And, if you are already a mother, know that all other mothers relate. When we stare at you while you cry over the "Love You Forever" book at Barnes & Noble (it's freakin' sad...gets me every time), we are staring as an act of solidarity, not judgement.
So, cry on, Mamas, you earned it! And, while you are at it, please share with us any embarrassing crying stories you have had. Honestly, it will make me feel better about the Home Alone incident. Home Alone. Oy.