Things that will NOT kill your child

There is a lot to be nervous about as a new mom.  It seems like everything in the world is bad for you. You often feel that one wrong move could jeopardize your child's safety, health, or happiness.  It can be overwhelming.  Every time you open the computer, there is a story about something else that is going to cause some awful illness.  Almost worse is that having a child is pretty much the same thing as wearing a sign that says, 'hey stranger.  Please tell me what I am doing wrong.'  It is exhausting.

I know all too well how those "bad" things can consume you, so I thought I would help you out by giving you a list of things that will not kill your child.  I will admit that I am not a doctor though, so take it with a grain of salt.

1. Sitting directly on the cart at Target.  I spend a lot of time at Target and I can tell you that I am the only mother whose child's tush is sitting on the cart and not on some Egyptian cotton cloth seat barrier.  Seriously?! Like I don't already have enough crap in my purse when I go to Target.  The last thing in the world that I need is to add a giant, 5 pound cloth ball to my 50 pound diaper bag so that Moose's golden a$$ doesn't have to touch the seat.  Do carts have germs?  Yup.  Is that going to kill her?  Hasn't yet.

2. Eating Sand.  Trust me on this one.  Moose has been living at the beach for the past 3 weeks and, during that time, has eaten at least 6 gallons of sand.  At least.  I wish I was exaggerating.  This kid LOVES to eat sand.  It is her sole reason for going to the "beachy."  When she first tried it last year, I made the rookie parenting mistake of saying, "yeah, go ahead, let her try it.  She won't like it anyway."  Ha.  She loved it.  Same thing this year.  The first day at the beach, she looked around like she was in a giant vat of ice cream.  And much like being in a vat of ice cream, she immediately dug in.  And you know what?  I let her.  Why not?  You have to pick and choose your battles and it hasn't killed her yet.  Plus, it is a hell of a lot cheaper than the $5.00 pint of berries that she typically snacks on.

Happily eating sand on the beach

3. Having people touch her without first sanitizing their hands.  We have many friends who had us sanitize our hands before touching their newborn.  I have no problem with that whatsoever.  To each his own.  We did not do that.  And it didn't kill the Moose.  First of all, we had already decided that some germs were good for the baby.  Secondly, if you are in my house with my newborn baby to begin with, it means that I have great faith in your cleanliness.  If I think that you are someone who wipes their a$$ with their bare fingers, you probably aren't going to be invited into my home.  Obviously we wash our hands at normal times: after using the bathroom, after going to a store, handling meat, etc.  Beyond those extremes though, some germs are good.  Not only did this one not kill her, but she was a really healthy baby.

4. Formula.  In my post-pregnancy, breastfeeding nightmare, crazy hormone haze, I was pretty sure that this one was going to do her in.  Maybe it wouldn't kill her right away, but I bought into the propaganda that assured me that it would kill her eventually.  After all, the only way to prevent death by ear infection or diarrhea in this country is to breastfeed, right?   Turns out the answer to that is no. I was wrong.  Formula didn't kill her and it still hasn't.  In fact, she is healthy, happy, and intelligent.  Who knew?!

5. Not washing the paci after it hits the floor.  I was walking into Target one day (yes, my entire life takes place in Target) when Moose's paci hit the ground in a fit of rage.  There were two male employees behind me who saw it and said, in a teasing manner, "whoa, Mama, what are you going to do now?  Better go wash that off!"  My response was to pop the paci right back in her mouth.  The Target guys LOVED it.  Literally, they started to holler and clap (as a side note, it is so sad that I now get hollered at for things like that rather than for being hot...sigh) and told me that I was the first mother they have ever seen do it.  Are you kidding me?  If I chose to go through the entire store without her paci, I would be forever banned from going back (and then what would I do everyday?).

That being said, I do have some standards.  If it falls in a public bathroom or some other disgusting place, I don't put it back in her mouth.  Otherwise though, I give it a quick wipe on my shirt (gotta keep up appearances) and do the world a favor by popping it right back in her mouth.  Hasn't killed her yet.

Sucking on her filthy paci ;)

While compiling this list, I realized that I had way too many for one post, so this is going to be part 1 of things that will not kill your child.  Part 2 will follow soon.  Please share things that you know of that will not kill your child.  Have you been judged for doing any of them?

Disclaimer: Prior to having a child of my own, I had 15 years of experience working with children, including my most recent job of running a daycare center.  Without that experience, I wouldn't have been nearly as laid back about the above listed things.  As with all of my posts, there is no judgement.  Everyone should do what makes them comfortable.