Tuesday, September 10, 2013

Pooping during birth

Just typing those words was super awkward for me, but this topic has to be spoken about.  I am writing today what I wish I could have read when I was pregnant

Prior to giving birth, my biggest fear was pooping on the table.  Seriously.  Hell, who I am trying to kid?  It still is amongst my top fears.

In case you have not yet heard of this phenomena, it is real.  You read about that sh&$ (no pun intended) all of the time.  At least I did.  If you were to google "pooping during childbirth" on my computer, the first 50 pages would have be marked as read.  The most common theme in what I read was that, even if you do poop, you won't even care because you will be so tired, in pain, and excited.  Ha.  That's bullish*$.  There is no level of pain in the world that could make me be like, "hey, just crapped myself.  No big deal."

I lost sleep over this.  It is to the point where it has become an irrational fear.  Some people are claustrophobic (me), some people are afraid of heights, some fear sharks or loud noises.  I fear pooping during childbirth.

In fact, I feared pooping so much that I tried to talk my doctor into letting me have a C-Section.  I was unsuccessful.  I mean, have you seen my hips?  Of course I didn't need a C-section.  I was born to push babies out of my who-ha.

Not to downplay the pain and recovery of a C-section, but I hope all of you lucky C-section girls out there realize how much more glamorous that procedure is when compared to one where you lift and spread your legs and take a crap on the table.  Oh my God...ewww...I am literally cringing while writing this.  I am a lady, I shouldn't even have to utter those words.

I mean, do you realize how disgusting it is to poop on yourself?  And that wasn't even my biggest concern.  The embarrassment of pooping on myself in front of a room full of people, including my husband, is enough to give me the shakes.  STILL.  Yes, my friends, I have already given birth and I am still afraid of pooping on the table if I have another child someday.

One of my good friends is a nurse, so I asked her about it.  She was like, "Becky, poop doesn't even phase me at all.  I deal with poop every single day.  It doesn't even register.  Furthermore, having a child is such a beautiful process that you won't even care if you do poop on the table."  Although I understood her logic, it didn't make me feel any better.

So, during one of my last appointments prior to delivery, I asked my Doctor and her nurse about it.  They both said the same thing as my friend, but added, "if you could see what else comes out of you, you would realize that poop is the least gross thing."  

Here is why my fear is irrational though.  I realize that the placenta, blood, and other nastiness that comes out of you is way grosser than poop, but I DON'T CARE.  None of that bothered me.  Only the poop.

The night before my induction, after spending all day in the hospital "softening my cervix," my parents took my husband and I out to our last "no baby" dinner.  We went to one of my favorite Italian restaurants.  I ordered plain pasta because I was so afraid of pooping the next day.  Obviously I skipped the salad.

Going into the delivery the next day, I was literally petrified.  Most people are fearful of many things, including the pain or some other complication.  Nope, not me.  I trust my OB and I can handle pain (plus, I had drugs), but the poop.  Oh man, the poop.

If you have stuck with me this long, I know that you are hoping to hear one of two things.  1. I did poop and I didn't care because it is really not a big deal.  2. I didn't poop because that is just a myth.  Sorry, folks, neither of those things are true.

I have no idea if I pooped.  I was so numb that my husband and nurse had to lift my legs up.  Talk about sexy.  I didn't feel a damn thing.  I am convinced that I did poop, but that could partially be the irrational fear talking.  My husband says I didn't, but I am convinced that he either doesn't want me to talk about it endlessly and refuse to have more kids or he has tried to block it out of his mind so that he can find me attractive.

And the worst part of it all?  I do care.  I care so much.  Through all of the nastiness, the pain (prior to epidural), and the joy of having my sweet, sweet girl, I still care about pooping on the table.  When and if I become pregnant again, I will spend every day of the 9 months worrying about pooping on the table.  Unless, of course, someone comes up with some sort of drug or 12 step program in the meantime.

Ladies out there, please tell me that some of you were also afraid of pooping on the table!!  Please.

At least I also "pooped" out this bundle of joy.


28 comments:

  1. I was so afraid of pooping on the table that I gave myself an enema the night before my induction (with the blessing of my doctor). I only pushed for 30 min. before being wheeled in for a c-section, but my husband swears there was no poop!

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    1. That is such a great idea! I should have done that, but my luck is that I would have gone into labor immediately after and had explosive diarrhea on the table. :)

      Thanks for commenting, C!

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  2. I wasnt really afraid, but I wanted to know if i did lol. I kept asking between pushes if I had pooped yet! haha

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    1. Lol! It is amazing what goes through your mind during delivery, isn't it? It is awesome that you weren't afraid. I have no idea why it is such a big fear for me, but I wish I could shake it!

      Thank you so much for reading and commenting! :)

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  3. haha I was also worried about it. But by the time it came, I couldn't feel anything b/c of my epidural, and I was so completely exhausted from not sleep in over 24 hours that I have no idea if I did or not, and I really didn't want to ask. However, I am also convinced that I did. My fear of a next time though luckily doesn't scare me anymore. I now know that pooping on the table is definitely the least of my worries haha.

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    1. Thank you so much for reading and commenting! You are TOTALLY right about pooping on the table being the least of your worries. Motherhood is certainly much harder and more stressful (and sometimes grosser) than a little poop. It is still so nasty though. I mean, don't we Moms go through enough without having that to worry about too?

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  4. Ever since I heard about it being a possibility, it has plagued my thoughts. I don't even have kids. I actually cannot have kids and I still fear it.

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    1. Thank you so much for commenting! I am so glad that I am not alone in my fear. Most of us don't even go to the bathroom with the door open, let alone on a table in front of a group of people. Ewww!!

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  5. I was worried about all of it- pooping, but just the general having my lady bits exposed while pushing a baby out.

    But in the end, it was all about just getting the baby out!

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    1. Exactly...the whole thing is just nasty and humiliating! The good news is that once you experience it, very little else will make you fearful in life.

      Thank you so much for your comment! :)

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  6. I totally pooped, and nobody told me I would so I didn't know to be worried. It was humiliating and my husband teases me still 9 years later. I was on drugs and had an epidural...you couldn't get me high enough not to be embarrassed! It was awful! But we laugh about it:)

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    1. Oh no! At least you didn't know ahead of time, so you didn't have to be scared of it! Did it scare you off from having other kids? And you are totally right...there are not enough drugs in the world to make it not embarrassing!

      Thanks so much for sharing. You are awesome!
      Becky :)

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  7. So funny, Beck -- I remember calling and leaving you a message the night before you gave birth, and saying, "Uh, I hope everything goes okay with, um, that thing you were worried about." Maybe my good thoughts negated the pooping!

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    1. Lol! I sure hope so! I am sure that once we are done having kids, Josh will just be like, "oh my God, you pooped so much, but I didn't want to tell you" and then never let it go. :)

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  8. OMG seriously, grow up and get over the poop. This is why c-section rates are sky high because people choose to get cut open than birth be an inconvenience or be embarrassed about such a normal, natural part of life. Be strong and stand up to poop!

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    1. Thanks for your comment! I think it is awesome that you are not afraid of it at all. More power to you!

      Unfortunately though, the poop issue is not why c-section rates are sky high in this country. If you have a doctor who actually lets you choose to have a c-section due to fear of pooping, you might want to consider switching doctors! Obviously doctors should always be the ones to choose whether a woman gives birth vaginally or via C-section and it should be based on sound medical reasons.

      Becky :)

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  9. So funny! I too was afraid of this happening. I'm a nurse and I totally get the nurses reaction of not being the least bit phased by poop - it's completely true, I have zero problem dealing with other people's poop, but I did NOT want to be the girl who pooped on the delivery table. I'm pretty sure I did, and remember feeling at least slightly embarassed by it at the time, but in the bigger scheme of things, it really didn't matter...but I still hope it doesn't happen again next time.
    Stopping by from Mommy Moments! :)

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    1. Thanks for commenting! It is awesome to hear the perspective of a nurse who understands both sides of this issue. It makes me feel so much better that even though you realize that nurses and doctors really don't care at it, you were still fearful of it!

      You are totally right that it doesn't matter, or really even register, in the scheme of the entire event. It sure leads to a lot of worry ahead of time though. And I am with you in keeping my fingers crossed for a poop-free birth the next time!

      Thanks again!
      Becky :)

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  10. That is such a concern for so many women .. especially since I had a good looking doctor and was scared to death of doing that in front of him. Holy hell!! But, it happens and that's that. It never gets talked about again.

    Thank you for linking to Raising Imperfection.
    Please come back Friday to see if you were featured. :)

    ¤´¨)
    ¸.•*´
    (¸¤ Lanaya | xoxo
    Raising-Reagan.com

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    1. Lol! Having a good looking doctor would make it even worse! Luckily my doctor was a woman, so that helped a bit, although not too much. Funny enough, my husband was the one that I was the most embarrassed about! Probably because he was the only person in the room who wasn't a medical professional.

      Thanks so much for commenting and for hosting the link up!

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  11. I really didn't think about it, I guess the pain killed any thoughts :)

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    1. Yeah, pain can do that to you. I had just gotten a epidural when I started pushing, so I didn't feel any pain, which gave me plenty of time to think about the pooping. ;)

      Thanks so much for reading and commenting! :)

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  12. This is so true! I was afraid of pooping on the table too! I ended up drinking caster oil at 39 weeks and I was in the bathroom off and on all night. The tummy pains turned into contractions. I would probably do the castor oil again just so I could empty out before lol. That worked out perfectly :-). Thanks for linking up to Mommy Monday.

    XoXo,
    BRITTNEI
    Http://homemakingwithstyle.blogspot.com

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  13. That is such a good idea!! My friend gave herself an enema the night before her induction, which had the same effect (obviously) as the castor oil. I thought about doing it, but then figured that I would end up going into immediate labor and having explosive diarrhea on the table. :)

    Thanks so much for commenting! :)

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  14. I had 3 homebirths. My first, I pooped. It's a natural part of the process. I didn't really worry about it.

    The second baby, I didn't worry about it. I didn't. I don't know why. My body didn't clean itself out.

    My 3rd, my body cleaned itself out for like the week before I went into labor. I didn't have anything left to poop out. Haha!

    A c-section is a major surgery. It's not a walk in the park. They open you up to all kinds of dangers, infection, hysterectomy, nicking your baby... - just the drugs alone are damaging. I would never ever recommend that someone get an elective C because they are afraid of pooping. Pooping is a natural part of childbirth. It just is. It's the way our bodies are made. Yeah, it may be gross, but a baby coming out is not pretty either.

    If you are really worried about it - and your body isn't cleaning you out, you can think about taking something that will clean you out. You need to discuss that with your doctor in terms of timing. Since I was never induced, I let my body go into labor naturally. There was really no signs before hand - so even if I cared - there was nothing I could do about it anywho.

    Thanks so much for linking up with us at the Mommy Monday blog hop! So nice to see you.

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    1. Thank you for the thoughtful response, Lisa! You are such a brave woman to have had 3 home births. Wow.

      I don't know why I worried about it so much. I truly tried to talk myself out of it, but it seriously plagued my mind.

      I definitely think that the medical decisions should be left up to the medical professionals, which is why I didn't insist on a C-section. I had other reasons for wanting one though. I was terrified of tearing and it turns out that I did tear pretty badly. I didn't fully heal until around 12 weeks. I guess it doesn't matter how they come out of you...it is not pretty and it can be painful. Totally worth it though! :)

      Thanks again for taking the time to read and comment!

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  15. Oh, I had the same fear! My first son was born via c-section and then I had 3 VBAC's after. During my 2nd delivery, the first time I had to push....I had been pushing for 45 mins and was not pushing effectively since I was afraid I would poop. So the doctor and nurse got on me to push better and I told them that I was afraid I would poop. They quickly said, you already did! I was mortified, but then pushed correctly and had him out in 2 pushes. I had NO idea I did it and it was not a scene at all. So, for the last 2 births I decided I didn't care.

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    1. Thanks for your response, Amy! Glad that I am not alone in my fears. I guess that knowing it happens does take the pressure and fear off of you. You are awesome for having 3 VBACs. Wow. I just wish that there was a way to get the babies out that didn't involve major surgery OR pushing a giant kid out of your you-know-what.

      Hope you guys are doing well! Your kids are growing up so fast and are as cute as ever! :)

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Thanks so much for stopping by! I would love to hear from you, so please take a minute to leave me any comments, suggestions, funny stories, or advice about this journey called Mommyhood.

Becky :)